SCARS!

I have been someone with a lot of scars— the physical and not so physical, hehe.

However, I’d talk about two, because they resonate with this post.

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Two years back, I had a small injury on my arm. It was really just a thin, straight line, yet it lasted weeks to heal and hurt a lot.

While it started healing, however, that injury became such a fine, thin line. For some weird reason, I loved to look at it and admire it; I smiled each time I did.

I also showed it off to anyone (just my friends and people close actually) who as much as gave me 5 seconds of audience. Lol, I’m weird like that.

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Now to my other scar story, hehe.

Towards the end of last year, I had this terrible fall and broke my jaw, or chin, or whatever else you want to call it.

Those on my contact list know this story already, but I’d tell it anyway— mostly because I have never really told it in detail, and well, I’m talking scars today.

While I was at the hospital, and had just gotten informed that the wound would have to be stitched, a lot started running through my mind.

I had such mundane thoughts like “now I’m going to have a stitched face— or jaw.” Or “I’m going to be hideous” and blah blah blah.

I call them mundane because all of that stopped to matter after a few weeks, and I didn’t actually get hideous. Obviously.

When I got out of the ER, after the stitch, that is, I was greeted by my mom, two siblings, and a few friends who were out waiting for me.

(I’m getting emotional all over again, right now).

In those split seconds, I was super excited that they were all there. It meant so much to me. But in the next split seconds, I caught a glimpse of myself— bandage and all— through a glass, and I took another look at everyone seated there. They looked ‘normal’ and were not going to be ‘hideous’.

I ran to my mother, hugged her and began to cry. They all thought it was the pain from the injury or something, but I knew it was for a different reason that I cried. There was a war going on in my mind, and the part telling me I was now hideous and everyone would avoid me, was winning.

Few days down the line, people indeed made me feel like I was extremely terrible-looking.

There was the few percentage who felt genuinely sorry for me, and tried to do things in their little ways to ease my hurt— physically, emotionally and psychologically.

There was also the percentage who cast weird glances at me and my jaw whenever they saw me outside. This was especially people I didn’t know.

And finally— my all-time favorite category— there was the lot who were outright mean and nasty with their comments. Some made thoughtless statements, which left a deeper scar— an emotional-psychological scar.

I remember this certain “friend” who made this certain [nasty] comment. Like, there are certain things you don’t say to people, especially not people bearing the tag of “friend” (but, that’s by the way).

Then there was this other person, who saw me and after staring weirdly, made a nasty comment to his friend. At least he came back to apologize 😆. That’s not the point anyway.

I was miserable, and cried almost every night. You may think that’s petty, but picture yourself being in similar situations.

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Now back to the main gist;

Scars, especially emotional or psychological ones can be a lot to deal with at the time.

Scars come about from one injury or the other, and then leave a lasting impression. They are a reminder—of some sort— that such things happened. They tell amazing stories of something that once was.

A scar is proof that you have healed— or are supposed to have. When scars remain, the hurt and probably shame of those wounds do not.

If you read this post carefully to this point, you should have already gotten the message; but here are a few highlighted points for emphasis’ sake.

• Scars are a part of life. They are inevitable, and that’s still beautiful.
• Every scar has a beautiful story behind it. It may not be beautiful at the time the wound is fresh, but the fact it can be used as a channel for someone else’s healing is beautiful.
• When you are going through a season, be reminded that people will talk, and so will your mind; but pay no attention to either. If it’s not edifying you, then it’s tearing you down.

• Dealing with an emotional/ psychological scar is hard, no doubt, but that doesn’t mean you’d never grow past that— it’s possible and you can.
• When a scar remains, it is proof of healing. Don’t keep peeling off dry wounds; allow yourself heal with no complications. The more you can just leave that wound alone— without probing or poking it each time— the faster your healing comes.
• Embrace your scars— no one else would do that for you— and show it off if you have to. My point, be proud. Wear that scar like a badge of honor if you have to; it makes up a beautiful part of your story and life.

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I pray someday, soon, you’d be able to let those scars be scars— be reminders that something happened, but without the physical, emotional or psychological pain that came with it.

Someday—hopefully soon— I’d share some other scars I have had the ‘privilege’ of having.

I’d really love to read from you as well; do share an experience or more in the comments.

Until next time. Check back again, and as often as you breathe.

Sending love and light your way.

PS: I am in fact, glad I went through that; for one, it’s a beautiful story on my blog today.

PPS: My jaw injury has healed— pain and all— and so has my heart and mind. And in case you didn’t already notice, I’m pretty, not hideous.😉

Cheers to steady growth,

Zoey.