LISTEN!

Let’s talk about a somewhat weird topic today; which is in fact not actually weird. I don’t mean to confuse you; well, not intentionally anyway, lol.

Last night/into the early hours of this morning, I stayed up talking to someone. No, it wasn’t a boy, lol.

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Prior to that time, I attended a Bootcamp online; it was totally AMAZING! I tracked down one of the speakers on Instagram— because she dropped her Instagram handle and because she said we could.

We talked well into the night or morning, and I was so glad I took that step of sending her a message, in spite of myself.

It was a conversation I really needed to have but didn’t even realize how much I did, till we were done.

You can only imagine how I felt.

It was like a whiff of fresh breath.

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Have you ever been in such a situation? Would you like to tell me about it? I do love to listen as well.

Wait, that’s not the point I’m driving at yet.

Shortly after the ‘talk’, I was strolling on the streets of Instagram and I came across a podcast where this guy was talking about ‘listening’.

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Have you ever been in a situation where you desperately wanted to be ‘there’ for someone, yet felt afraid of not saying the right things?

Have you wondered if your reaction would push them further away?

Or perhaps it was you, in need of a listening ear.

We all have those days; those moments. It comes with being human.

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Sometimes, you may not really know what to say, especially not the ‘right’ words anyway.

And other times, you even begin to feel as overwhelmed as the person you are supposed to be listening to.

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Earlier this year, I went to see a friend who had just lost a parent. I didn’t know what to say. Okay, maybe I did a little, but I didn’t know how to go about saying those words…

It happens!

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However, do you know that your silent, attentive ‘listening’ goes a long way?

I bet you, it does. More than you know or can imagine.

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“There’s no wrong way to listen”

Those were the words this guy from the podcast emphasized on.
And indeed, there isn’t.

You see, you may say the wrong words.

You may even say the right things…but at the wrong time.

But you see the art or act of listening, you can never be in the wrong.

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Listening, when placed alongside talking, is the harder of the two. This is probably because it puts you in a position to be a genius and come up with a solution.

It is also probably because to an extent, it requires a lot more from you.

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For most parts of my life, I’ve been on the listening-flip-side-of-the-coin; this may or may not qualify me to dish out the tips I’m about to, but that won’t stop me.

I dare say, there are 3 ways in which you listen;

(This, however, is more applicable for one-on-ones).

1. With your EARS:

Of course, this is the very basic, where you make conscious efforts to hear what is being said.

Let’s face it; you and I both, get ticked off when we have to repeat something said. Right? Yes, yes, I know. Same principle applies here.

2. With your EYES:

I just heard you scream that’s absurd. But hold that thought…

I once had this friend who, anytime we were talking and I took my eyes off her, she felt I wasn’t listening anymore. She’d stop the gist abruptly and wouldn’t go on till I was focused on her again…

Do you get the drift now? “Some eureka moment”, was that what I heard you say?

Well, told you I knew what I was talking about.

Finally and the most important …

3. With your HEART:

Besides wanting to be heard, everyone wants to ensure they’d be understood and not judged.

Everyone is seeking closure, even, well especially in their vulnerable states.

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There is no wrong way to listen; but you can make someone feel wrong for talking.

I pray for you, that you become a better listener, even when you don’t have the right words.

Cheers to steady growth,

Love,

Zoey.