RETURN!

I thought about a certain thing, all day today. And even more so, I thought of a story to relate it with, but it was not exactly forthcoming, until later…

So here, here is a very common topic, with a popular background story. It may even be cliché, but I hope you don’t miss the point.

******

There once was a man, extremely wealthy he was. He had fleet of cars, a heavy bank account, a large mansion with sufficient rooms. In fact, there were more rooms in this house to live in, than there were the humans to live in them.

He was influential and powerful. His fame spreading vast and rapidly. The media always carried and spread the news of his fame; of every little detail about his life and family.

Almost nothing escaped their prying eyes and their merciless, unending stories.

There was always abundance of food. He had domestic helps for every and any purpose. And even they lived like princes; what more of the actual princes of this great dynasty?

(You should be able to guess from this point what story I’m telling, but don’t stop reading through).

“Dad, I’d like to have a word with you.” The younger of the man’s two sons summoned one cool evening. He reeked of arrogance, and he knew so, but he didn’t mind.

“Listen up, you’re getting old, in fact, we all are— you, my brother and I. And you’re going to die sooner or later…” The father’s expression quickly metamorphosed into that of alarm and disbelief. Had he just heard right?

This son, on seeing the change in his father’s appearance quickly added, “I’m not wishing you dead, dad. Relax.”

“What I’m saying is, someday after your death, because of the level of abundance God has blessed you with, a will would not be enough to settle everyone’s greed for your pound of flesh— your wealth, that is.”

“So, while you’re still alive, I want you to will out my portion of the inheritance. After all, it is no longer the patient dog who eats the fattest bone; it’s the wisest one.”

It had been almost five whole minutes that this son had finished speaking, yet his father spoke not a word. He was deep in thoughts.

“Where have I gone wrong?”

“Didn’t I train this boy right?”

“Oh Grace, I wish you’d be here to witness this.”

His eyes got misty as he these thoughts ran through his mind, especially when he got to the thoughts about his late wife.

For many days, he stalled. He didn’t give a response immediately, and he hoped that somehow, the boy would come back to apologize for the bad joje.

But he never did. Rather, the boy kept pressuring him day in and day out. And when this wealthy father was tired of his endless nagging, he finally obliged.

Barely a month after his inheritance was willed to him, Jojo, the prodigal son moved out of his father’s mansion.

There that arrogance was again; telling him he was old and rich enough to live without them.

He got new friends, partied almost every day, gave in to drugs, and just about every other ‘vice’ around. He changed cities even.

Somehow, the media got to know and the news was everywhere. The humiliation!

Fast forward to three years down the line, and he had run bankrupt. All of the money, the ‘influence’, the lifestyle, the friends…it all went down the drain in what seemed to be the blink of an eye.

He couldn’t even get to how he got to that point, and only then did he realize the gravity of his mistake and how much of an insult that was to his father.

Like it or not, he had indirectly wished his father dead. Okay, what reasonable son does that?

Talk about biting the fingers that fed you. Hmm.

…

He battled with himself for another year and a half. He struggled to survive, and each time he made up his mind to return home, he was reminded of his actions. He was too guilt-ridden to ply that road which led hone.

Each time, he was reminded of how he didn’t deserve that love. He just couldn’t bring himself to forgive himself. Although he nursed the possibility of his father forgiving him, he couldn’t just forgive himself.

******

Now, I know you know that story; and have heard it being taught again and again. I know you have been taught of the place of forgiveness, no matter what you have done.

Yes, it has been emphasized and can never be over emphasized; but here’s the flip side.

FORGIVE YOURSELF, DARLING.

It doesn’t matter how far gone you are, or think you are, forgive yourself first. A whole new life awaits you, but you have to make that inner resolve to let it go.

You’ve tortured yourself enough, it’s time to RETURN.

******

It took Jojo a while, but he finally did forgive himself. That was when he was able to ply that road home, and return to his father’s embrace.

Whatever it is, you can still return. And just in case you need a song for the road as you return, Kim Walker’s song “RETURNING” is the best bet I know of right now.

I have shared my thoughts with you; kindly do same with me in the comments below.

Sending love and light your way.

Cheers to steady growth,

Zoey.